Sari Meltzer's picture
By Sari Meltzer

GLEE - S2 E1: Auditions


Welcome back Gleeks!  Tonight was a great return to warm up those lungs. 

The first episode we see 3 new characters make and sing their way into our lives.  Sam “dude, your mouth is huge” Evans (Chord Overstreet), a transfer student picks up a guitar and is accompanied by the New Directions guy’s singing “Billionaire”; he has a fabulous voice (and hair, "but the Bieber cut's gotta go").  Foreign exchange student Sunshine Corazon (Charice), sings “Listen” from Dream Girls and instantly wow’s the club, much to the dismay of Rachel.  We’re also introduced to the new football coach, who happens to be female, Shannon Bieste (sounds like beast but spelled “B-E-I-S-T-E, it’s French”) (Dot Jones).  Coach Bieste is a winning football coach and the plan is to bring in more alumni money, which is why she was hired.

We start off the season with budget cuts to Glee Club and the Cheerios to fund the football department and its new coach.  Sue, Will and Shannon become instant enemies, Sue and Will band together to pull pranks on Shannon and be generally “Sue-ish” to her in the attempt to get her to quit/get fired and they get their budgets back.  Will goes along until Sue brings Brittany into the principal’s office to report sexual harassment on Coach Beiste.  This is his breaking point and he reminds Brittany that this is a serious accusation, to which Brittney replies “I made it up, she didn’t touch my boobs.  I actually wanted to touch hers”.  I love Brittany; almost everything that comes out of her mouth is absolutely hilarious.  After that Will apologizes to Coach Beiste for his behavior.

Mr. Shue and New Directions need to recruit more people so they have a chance at Nationals this year.  Since Nationals is in New York this year, they decide to take to the courtyard in spontaneous dance/sing style and rap/sing to Jay-Z’s Empire State of Mind (which, btw, is an AWESOME song).  This is where Finn eyeballs Sam “dude your mouth is huge” Evans tapping his foot and bobbing his head and Rachel see’s Sunshine singing along.  Unfortunately this is about the only response they get, which is surprising because if a bunch of white people just started rapping and dancing to Jay-Z, I think I’d stop to watch, just sayin.  So Finn and Rachel ask each to audition.  Rachel sends Sunshine to a crack house after a bathroom rendition of Lady Gaga’s Telephone which is interrupted by Sue walking in and telling them to shut up.  Probably the 2nd funniest scene lol.  Sam pre auditions with Travie McCoy’s Billionaire and is by far the best guy voice they’ve had on the show thus far.  After Will decides to defy Sue in public, she invokes revenge by recording Sunshine’s audition of Listen from Dream Girls and sending it to Vocal Adrenaline where she is wooed with gifts and a green card for her mother and transfers.  In an attempt to get his girlfriend back, Artie tries to join the football team, Finn tries to help him join and is kicked off the team by coach Beiste thinking it’s a joke and after all the crap Sue and Will put her through, she’s not having it.  This turn of events prompts Sam to not audition afterall and New Directions is now back to square one.  Quinn is back as head cheerleader when Santana is demoted due to a boob job over the summer and Brittany spent the summer "lost in the sewers".
And that’s what you missed on last week’s episode of Glee.

We know next week’s episode will be all Britney Spears songs, oy.  But the name of the episode is Britney/Brittany, so this may turn out to be very interesting!! Brittany doing Britney (no pun intended, ok, maybe a little pun was intended) this will be awesome! We’ve all wanted to see more of Brittany, shes freakin hilarious! And now she gets to dress as the slutty school girl and dance around, this has Brittany written all over it.  Here are the songs that will be performed:
- Toxic
- I’m a Slave 4 U
- Stronger
- Me Against the Music
- Baby One More Time
So I realize all the actors are over 18, but they’re portraying 17 yr old, its kinda pervy, right? 

Upcoming Episodes names, Songs and Guest Speculations:
Episode 3 - Grilled Cheesus
- Papa, Can You Hear Me - The one and only Barbra
- Losing My Religion - REM (one of my all time faves)
- One of Us - Joan Osborne
- Something from Aretha Franklin

Episode 4 - Duets
- River Deep - Mountain High - Ike and Tina Turner
- Get Happy/Happy Days Are Here Again - Judy Garland and Barbra
(I can't believe theres only 2 songs in this ep)

- Science Fiction/Double Feature
- Dammit Janet
- Whatever Happened to Saturday Night
- Sweet Transvestite
- Toucha-a, Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch Me
- Over at the Frankenstein Place
- The Time Warp
Are there any other Rocky Horror fans out there?? I wonder if I can find the picture of me dressed up like Frankenfurter... hahaha.  Grab your rice, toast and toilet paper! ITS ROCKY HORROR TIME!!!!
Perhaps we'll see Barbra guest star since her songs are featured in a couple episodes? I'm hoping Tim Curry will show up for the Rocky Horror one or even Susan Sarandon, although I hear she doesn't like to talk about her Rocky Horror days...
Michael Stipe would be a pleasant surprise!

Confirmed guest stars are
- Neil Patrick Harris
- Molly Shannon
- Joss Whedon (paging Sheree, paging Sheree)
- Britney Spears (next episode)
- Carol Burnett (Loooove it!!)
- Gwyneth Paltrow
Rumored guest stars are
- Jennifer Lopez
- Madonna
- Adam Lambert
- Justin Timberlake
Who would you like to see on Glee?  I would LOVE to see Julie Andrews (who didn’t see that one coming lol) <3.  What would you like to see? Hate it? Love it? Tell me about it!

Mini Spoiler:
In the upcoming season we will see Kurt get a boyfriend.  The speculation is that it’s Sam.  The Glee staff have described Kurt’s and boyfriend’s relationship as “power couple”.  They wont be sneaking around on the hush, they will be out and proud; this is GREAT news for the LGBT community in high school.  What a role model, Kurt having a boyfriend and them both being confident in their relationship with each other and themselves.  After all Kurt has been through, it’s nice for him to get some love.