Jungle
Guns Girls and Gambling (BLU-RAY)

Guns Girls and Gambling

Movie
Studio(s): 
Director(s): 
On Blu-Ray: 
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Grade:
C-
Running Time: 
90 minutes

GUNS, GIRLS, GAMBLING:
John Smith (played by Christian Slater) has found himself in a bit of bad luck after trying to win some money at a Native American owned casino. With no money to spend he enters a Elvis impersonation contest that puts him in the middle of a life long feud between The Chief (played by Gordon Tootoosis) and The Rancher (played by Powers Booth) over a priceless Apache war mask. Someone has stolen the mask, everyone believes it's John Smith has it even though he continues to tell all the hit men and woman that he didn't do it. It's an all out race to the finish where Elvis' are being killed by The Indian who is being chased by The Cowboy while having the Sheriffs working both sides. All John Smith has to do is stay alive and find this most wanted mask.


PUNS AND GUNS:
Guns, Girls, and Gambling is a movie that is full of irony and puns. Most of all it's a movie that has a plot of overused editing of jumping around in time while the main character narrates what's happening and happened, titles that tell what day it is, and characters that have no name except for the description of their character. It's a movie that has taken the cues from Tarantion but ends up just being a bad pun on it. There's supposed to be this intricate woven play between the characters where they all are connected in this web of fights, shootouts, and mysterious girls who seem to tempt everyone in the movie.


This movie tries so hard to be something it's not that I wanted to feel bad for it. My first thought from watching this movie was, did Gary Oldman have to pay off a gambling debt himself? He must have or he was helping out a friend, or maybe he just had to remind himself that he really does do movies for the love of the work because I can't figure out how he ended up in this. His character, The Elvis, is in it for about 10 minutes, oh he does a fine performance as The Elvis, but there's no point of him being there. This role could have been played by anyone. There's also Helena Mattsson who plays a character who goes around spitting out these stupid quotes that I'm only guessing is supposed to fit the moment and sound all tough. In reality all her character does in this movie is become annoying from the moment she appears on screen and then mind numbing dull when she opens her mouth to talk.


All the characters in this movie are idiotic, though it seems like all the actors know this but still try to give a little semblance of style to their roles. Not that it helps any because the movie is filled with boring action scenes, sequences that are put together to seem like random happenstances that are all related, and a mystery that is only a mystery because nothing is given on it. I can create a mystery if I said hey there's a coin, it's valuable, oh no it's been stolen, who done it, yada, yada, yada, oh you had it. There it is, a mystery that's been solved. That's how this movie is, only with narration of the whole lot of nothing that's supposed to be something. All the stupid irony in this, such as The Cowboy vs The Indian was drivel and made the movie even more cheesy than it already is. The mystery is no mystery, the action is dull, the connections connection in a cool way about as much as my connection of walking to my car to drive to work does, and the story is just a lot of other peoples ideas.


BLU RAY GAMBLING AND GUNS:
Guns, Girls and Gambling has one thing going for it, well two, the picture quality and the audio. It's really the audio foremost with it's DTS-HD Master Audio 5.1 surround sound that allows all the narration being given by Christian Slater clear quality. I was able to hear everything with no worries and without having to mess with the volume controls. Even the picture quality is sharp with lots of bright colors, though it was shot in a desert, the movie has a pretty decent looks to it. I didn't see much of any grain or noise, then again it was all done in bright light and daylight, so the picture does look clear and smooth.

 

Lee Roberts
Review by Lee Roberts
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