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Hansel & Gretel (BLU-RAY)

Hansel & Gretel

On Blu-Ray: 
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Running Time: 
1 Hour, 30 Minutes
Bonus Features

Commentary, Gag Reel, Making of Featurette, Hell's Crafty, Trailer

Upset over his dad’s announcement of marriage to a younger woman, Hansel (played by Brent Lydic) storms off in a rage protesting the marriage. Gretal (played by Stephanie Greco) goes after her brother so he doesn’t get hurt while upset over the news they where just told. As he wonders in the dark woods Hansel stumbles upon a bear trap that cuts his leg badly. After freeing her brother from the trap the two wonder into the woods where they find the home of Lilith (played by Dee Wallace), the woman that Gretel works for. Thinking they will be safe for the night the two wake up to a nightmare where they are going to be the main course for dinner.

I shouldn't have even needed to write a description for this movie considering the tale of Hansel and Gretel has been around for a very long time. This horror movie is set during modern times but follows the same plot as the fairy tale, kind of. The two characters are the same, they go off in the woods, and then they are captured by an insane woman who wants to eat them. Added in to the mix are the two sons of Lilith that do the killing and cooking of the people who have gone missing. There's also the typical small town cop and his deputy that have no clue as to what's going on and of course do nothing in the movie to progress the plot any.

I've seen some bad horror movies in my time but this is one completely different than all those others. Hansel & Gretel seems to have been in a huge rush so that the video could hit the stores in time to before the big budget one of the same characters comes out. In the rush they must have either forgotten that they didn't have a real plot or they just didn't care because beyond the initial story of Hansel & Gretel nothing else is offered in this movie. In one sentence this movie could be summed up as being, Hansel & Gretel set during modern times with some hillbilly looking killers that have the siblings held captive with some others before getting ate. Watching the movie felt that way but only it took me 90 minutes to be told that one sentence. At it's best this movie can appeal to someone that likes the idea of just random crazy killing but what it was to me was a movie of random crazy killing and lots of bad acting with a plot that has no substance.

Most of the characters in this movie had no business being in it other than to be killed. All those other people in the basement with Hansel and Gretel offered no more than being fodder for death. Well, they did scream a lot so there are really 2 things, death and screaming that they brought to the movie. Then there's the sheriff and his deputy that are shown at the start of the movie, forgotten, and then brought up at the end for a very short and pointless amount of time. This movie was one long waste of time watching because other than me wondering why everyone kept getting killed by that same one woman and why no one actually tried to stop her, the only other thing that happens in this is death. It's not exciting, it's not scary, I didn't get invested in the safety of the characters, and I sure wasn't invested in liking the movie. There's so much that is left out of the movie, like the mother of Hansel and Gretel is brought up all the time, there's even a carving we see, but then that's it. Then there's the other people being kidnapped that's brought up and we see them but we never see how they were caught or when they where. But what tops the list of all the mess this movie is, is the ending that leaves the story open for a sequel. Hopefully if they do make a second one there will be more than 2 minutes thought put into the script.

Surprisingly, the quality of the picture of this movie takes nothing from the making of it. When the movie offers nothing to the person that's watching it, the Blu Ray looks good with bright colors and sharp quality. The detail is brought out in this Blu Ray as we see the gore that's being used to make it look better than it should have. I didn't notice much of any grain or noice in the blacks of the picture and the day scenes are bright and clear. For a bad movie it looks good as far as the potential of what a Blu Ray can look like and sound like.


Lee Roberts
Review by Lee Roberts
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