>> Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami: Season One (2010)

Show: Kourtney & Khloe Take Miami

Season/Volume: 1

Genre: Reality

Starring: Kourtney Kardashian, Khloe Kardashian, Erica Mena, Michael Yo, Tracy M. Young

Studio: E!

Runtime: 179 mins

Release Date: April 6, 2010

Format: DVD

Discs: 2

Rating: 0.00 (out of 4.00)

Grade: F

Official Site

Remind me to never take anything that In Touch Weekly says at face value.

Apparently they gave this show four stars, at least according to the back of the DVD packaging. How anyone could give something this inane anything closely resembling a star absolutely confounds me. As I watched (and scarred my eyes in the process), I kept thinking of the South Park episode where the kids had to vote on new school mascot: either a giant douche or a turd sandwich? Are the Kardashian girls massive douches or huge, spoiled brats? Or both?

It astonishes me, given everything that’s happening in our country (and elsewhere in the world), that there is actually an audience for this sort of crap. The excess, the over-privileged attitudes, the stupidity…it baffles me that anyone would willingly watch this. You'll see the girls "start" a second Dash store in Miami, and then pitch a fit when their sister Kim flies out to help with the store launch. You'll witness Khloe starting and nearly tanking a fledgling radio talk show host career, simply because she wanted to. Oh did I mention that they rent a Porsche and Jaguar because they needed a way to get around town? I could go on, but I won't weigh down your brain with completely unnecessary information.

Thankfully the season is only eight episodes long, with deleted scenes, bonus interviews from Khloe’s radio show. You also get a bonus disc featuring the Kardashian wedding from “Keeping Up with the Kardashians.” Joy and rapture.

The only thing that this is good for is a laugh…and a sad shake of the head. If Rome is burning, this is the sound of Nero’s violin playing.

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