Tusk

The idea of Tusk came during about a podcast with director Kevin Smith and producer Scott Mosier and fan support led the idea to be turned into a feature length film. Not all ideas, even those that may be popular, are good ideas though, and Tusk is a prime example.

Wallace Bryton (Justin Long) runs a podcast called the Not-See Party with his best friend Teddy Craft (Haley Joel Osment) where they essentially make fun of people and their ridiculous online videos that they post. Wallace jumps at the opportunity to go to Canada to interview one of the podcast’s most popular viral stars, The Kill Bill Kid, who cut off his own leg during one of his videos. Unfortunately he arrives a little too late and the kid took his own life before he could get the chance to interview him. Now in Canada without anyone to interview for the podcast, Wallace looks for anyone interesting so he doesn’t go back empty handed. It’s in the bathroom of some rundown bar that he finds a note from the mysterious Howard Howe (Michael Park) who says he has many stories of adventure to tell to anyone willing to listen. Not one to turn away from a good story, Wallace takes the bait and finds himself a part of something way more interesting than simple tales of adventure.

Tusk’s main draw is the story’s premise; a psychotic old man turns this guy into a full blown walrus. Trailers have been careful not to show the full transformation, saving the big reveal for paying audiences. It’s the reason why everyone will see the film and while the payoff lives up to the hype, the road leading to it is mind numbingly boring.

The biggest of Tusk’s flaws is its dialogue. In typical Kevin Smith fashion, much of the conversation between any two characters consists of an amalgam of dick jokes and lewd sex acts, regardless of whether or not it pertains to the story. Even worse is that characters will often go into these lengthy monologues that ramble on and on with no purpose. The worst offender of this is Johnny Depp’s Guy Lapointe, a former police investigator who has been tracking this serial killer for years. His long diatribes against his this murder who got away ruin any anticipation you might have for seeing what happens next.

Tusk is unnecessarily long-winded and relies solely on the shock factor of seeing Justin Long turned into a walrus. The film aims to create the same buzz The Human Centipede created in 2009, but only ends up with a bland and disappointing film that is neither horror nor comedy. Audiences beware, do Not-See this film.