Miami Monkey

Miami Monkey is a spin off show of VH1’s Mob Wives. The show stars Big Ang as she moves form Staten Island to South Beach where she opens a secondary location for her bar The Drunken Monkey, of course called Miami Monkey. To start the bar up right she brings down her family, family friends, and extended family to get the job done. What the group doesn’t know is that Ang has hired on three Miami natives who will inevitably clash with the Staten Island girls and cause a ruckus that could only be good enough for reality television. 

 

Why beat around the bush. I hated this show. The cast is annoying, the drama feeling somewhat staged, and the overall feel of the show speaks to me in no way. You’ve got your tanned airheads, your snappy Miami locals, lots of skin, lots of drinking, and more bleeps then a Road Runner cartoon. The only member of the cast that I can stand is the bartender Ryan who is the only one that feels genuine throughout the episode. Everyone else gets giddy over tiny bikinis, plays up (hopefully) their bafoonishness, and more TV attitude then I can stand. It’s all playing to the camera. 

 

Big Ang is probably the worst out of the bunch. I know Ozzy made it a fun pastime to watch a celerity train wreck happening on television, but this is too much. Ang is an overly tanned, plastic surgery riddled drunk that, whenever she opens her mouth, all I hear is Harvey Fierstein, baritone and all. What makes it worse is that she attempts to play up to the younger crowd by trying to be hip, stylish, cool and it only reminds you of your parents trying to do the same and failing miserably. 

 

Aside from Ryan, who if the show was about her starting up her own bar then I would watch, is pretty much more reality television garbage not fit for the blind. Alas, these are the times we live in.