Years ago, I loved film soundtracks. Not the “music inspired by” sort, but the actual film scores themselves. I grew up with a background in classical music, playing the piano and memorizing the works of John Williams. The Star Wars double LP album (yeah, the actual vinyl one) was burned into my brain way before I actually ever saw the film itself. As a result of this upbringing, I had a certain snobbish attitude towards the soundtracks that featured music other than the score.

Of course, I eventually saw the error of my ways and started embracing both soundtrack varieties. I still love film scores, but I also dig soundtracks with song contributions from some of my favorite artists. Sometimes you’ll even luck out and get a really top-notch track that never shows up anywhere but the soundtrack (Foo Fighters’ “A320” on the Godzilla album comes to mind).

But I have to admit; listening to Almost Alice almost made me regress in my thinking. I have no idea what the new Alice in Wonderland film will be like (or what Danny Elfman’s score will sound like), but I sure hope that both are much better than this record. This nonsense is chock full of rubbish tracks from some absolutely terrible bands and artists. Shinedown? Metro Station? 3OH!3? Tokio Hotel? Oh yes. They’re here, along with Avril Lavigne, All Time Low, and some awful Estonian pop artist named Kerli. Her main claim to fame here? She works in the term “fothermucker” into her solo track “Tea Party.” Yeah, you read that right. My mind boggles at the lyrical skills on display.

Fortunately, not all is lost here. Mark Hoppus, Motion City Soundtrack, and Wolfmother contribute fairly solid songs. Shoot, even Franz Ferdinand, Owl City, and The All-American Rejects have decent tracks here, not to mention the presence of a Robert Smith solo cut (will any of the young audience that this is aimed at even know who he is?). I believe the Franz Ferdinand song ("The Lobster Quadrille") actually uses lyrics adapted straight from the text, so that's quite cool.

As a result, Almost Alice is a very hit-or-miss affair. Perhaps it’s appropriate, considering the material that inspired it, but this is an incredibly schizophrenic record. My advice? Wait for the digital release and pick and choose the individual artists that strike your fancy.